Austria
has a rather cool Christmas tradition. Santa
has a helper in Austria. He’s a horned, devil-figure called
Krampus. On Christmas Eve (Dec. 5th
here, not Dec. 24th)
evil Krampus accompanies Santa during delivery of gifts to the children. Just like in the US,
kids who have been good for the year get nice presents. The bad kids have to deal with Krampus. Sometimes Krampus takes back the gifts Santa
left or he might beat the kids with a birch switch. Krampus has even been known to carry bad
children away.
A friend told me about the practical
application of Krampus. On the gentler
side of the Krampus tradition, kids who go to visit Santa (like the mall Santa)
must contend with Krampus who sits at Santa’s side. As the kids tell Santa what they want, Krampus
tries to grab them. That’s the lighter
side of things. At the other extreme,
some families get together in a house with all the neighborhood kids on Christmas
Eve and one of the parents asks the kids if they’ve been good. Meanwhile, a different parent or neighbor is
dressed up as Krampus and bangs on the front door. The parents tell the children, oh no, one of
you has been bad and Krampus is going to take you away. The kids hide in the house as Krampus comes
in and stomps through the place looking for the bad little kids. Eventually Krampus goes away and the kids are
all relieved. The parents then clean the
shit out of the kids underwear.
Last week was the Krampus Festival in Austria. People dress up like Krampus and do what
Krampus’ do: they scare kids (and me) to death.
They cordon off an area of the street, crank up some sinister music,
light a big bonfire, and twenty Krampus’ figures go looking for trouble. It looked part pagan medieval, part branch davidian.
It was insane and awesome. Except for my
pirate costume of 2003, these Krampus costumes were the best costumes I’ve ever
seen. Just when I was going to run
away crying, the Krampus’ unmasked and made friends with all the kids.
I think Krampus is a great tradition. It’s a delightful improvement on the
pansy-ass US Christmas, and I suggest all parents incorporate a bit of Krampus in
their holiday. I posted some pictures from
our trip to the festival here if you want to see more.
We most definitely need Krampus in America! He's the only thing that will wise up these punk ass chilluns! Great pics!
Posted by: Kris | 20 December 2009 at 05:47 PM
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Posted by: reeflense | 21 July 2010 at 02:43 PM
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Did you now that Mark Zuckerberg now richer than Steve Jobs?
Posted by: aresunupier | 28 September 2010 at 06:30 AM
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@aresunupier
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Posted by: Paid Critique | 09 August 2011 at 03:40 AM